It’s never straightforward getting from A-B is it? The train ran  so late  we missed our lift. My husband organised a taxi to take me to the doctor then drive him to collect our grandkids👫.  The train had made us both late and stress 🤹‍♂️ levels were extremely high. The rabid dog 🐕 stuck  with me as we parted company for our respective appointments.

Naturally  the dog didn’t make it into my consultation but I was in some distress😢  by then and my  leg was swollen so badly I thought my jeans 👖 would need to be cut off.  The GP took one look at me and advised a second visit to A&E  🏩 for further investigation was necessary.

My poor husband was trying to make the kids their tea 🍱  when I summoned him back to my GP to transport me to A&E. He dispatched me rushing back to make sure the oven hadn’t incinerated the chicken nuggets.🔥

A&E was busy; I was informed at check in there would be a three hour wait. 3️⃣ OMG three hours…😩.  I grabbed a seat closest to the exit, but sitting down was just impossible. My containment of the rabid dog now manifested into  tears  😭 the pain, gnawing so much now, was unbearable, I was close to hysteria😜 .

Around me mayhem 👀 ensued, its hard to accept that everyone there was actually an emergency although I’m mindful of assumptions. Everyone appeared to contain their distress more than me, even kids. Some lovesick  👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨teenagers,  supported by their friends did well to conceal any obvious signs of ailment. 🤒  A number of kids in football ⚽️  attire  with blood stained 🤕 faces,  suggested  theirs hadn’t been  the friendliest  match, and numerous older people 👵🏼watched  every newcomer with nervous anticipation 🙀 that they might lose their turn.

After an hour I was called for triage where I was offered some pain relief 💊💊. With only a chair to sit in I was in major  discomfort. Once through the first tier, 🚑🚑🚑 3  ambulances arrived with more patients and I  was in this line waiting to move closer to a doctor.  Chaos didn’t seem to cover it.

Then it was my turn and we met Ben. 🧛🏻‍♂️ Ben is well versed in the habits of  hysterical women.  He has nice 🐝  manners. He has honed his bedside manner 🛏 to relax you.  He tried to establish what we really wanted as he noticed we had been at A&E  last week!  Isn’t it  tedious 🗂 these people who keep coming back?  “What do you need to happen?”  He was  acutely patronising 👺  and despite my GP referral it was evident he thought we were time wasting. “I need further investigation”  I sobbed 😪 “I need to be admitted to get the pain sorted”  But any idiot  🤪 could read the signs that was never going to happen.  Ben thought it appropriate to examine my leg  but he was perplexed.  As with his peers last week he didn’t know what was wrong. “I think you should go home and I’ll try to get a scan for next week”  he said washing his hands. “She needs pain relief”  said my husband, “ its 15p at Asda” he replied 🤫 smiling and  extending his  hand as he dismissed me. “ It was so  nice to see you in A&E.” It’s not a blinking holiday Ben!!!!!!

“I don’t think they believe me I wept” as I stuttered toward the car……………………..

 

 

 

I don’t do public shows of distress (PSD). So when I  fell in spectacular fashion on St Andrews Square in Edinburgh, I was mortified when passers🚶‍♂️ by  rushed to my aid because, as I said before, I was howling 😭.  I had only one thing on my mind; I wanted to get to Bon Vivant and have my lunch🥗 🍷!

My body (not to mention my hair and make-up), however  had other ideas.  No sooner had I clambered back to my feet 👏 when I passed out 🌀 and was flat on my back again. This led to a growing number of spectators 👀 to summon an ambulance🚑.  Not me, I was against this from the start  and  quickly requested they cancel it. After all it was just a fall……..wasn’t it?  🌚

And in any case our bodies are pretty amazing.  Firstly,  despite the pain, my brain 🧠 status  automatically slipped to organise.  I was issuing instructions, handing my phone 📱 over to “ let the restaurant know we are not coming” and   “ let my husband know?”.  I noticed the latter caused quite a stir 🙀in the crowd; was this man with me not my husband?? I could see they were looking at each other trying to figure it out. (Although why I was even aware of these subtleties I have no idea!)

Secondly, however  it was the physical reaction 🤢that led me to take the sensible decision and go to hospital. Shock was screaming  at me very loudly through waves of nausea, violent shaking and spinning horizons.  ( Not due to alcohol consumption, honestly 🍹).  Not wanting to avail the Scottish Ambulance Service of their time for some silly 🤡 middle aged woman wearing the wrong footwear, the staff at Dishoom kindly  summoned a taxi 🚕to take my colleague and I to the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh. (Bet they thought he was my husband too 🤫).

Despite my best contortions and effort to describe this accident🙇‍♀️ and pain, and an x-ray suggesting nothing was broken,  (although I felt I already knew that) the staff could not identify what ailed me. My left hamstring was on fire 🔥, I had excruciating pain when seated,💺 there was an agonising pain in both my pubic bone and the exterior of the left thigh between the hip and the knee. I was agitated because of the pain 🤦‍♀️and it was about 4 hours before they were able to get it under control. Only then could I allow them to touch my  leg.

After much deliberation the Doctors advised me I was a bit of a conundrum (nice😷),  they thought I’d likely have some bruising from this bad fall.  They agreed I could go home if I was able to use the crutches on offer.

So I did; I went home, not the least bit clear on what was wrong. I did have information that the trauma team would be in touch over the next few days but had no real advice on what to do.

All fine, yep,   but what about our trip to Harrogate on Monday????