Harrogate, really? Chapter 3

Have you ever been to Harrogate? It’s a beautiful market town near York🌇. I’ve been loads and love the shopping and eateries there. My husband has never been, so as a treat I booked us a trip there 😳. Except it was for the Monday after the fall and this was now a dilemma because I was in a lot of pain and had to get around on crutches. What ever we did it was not going to be the romantic ❤️ few days we had planned.

Romance? I know I’m no spring chicken 🐓 but I do still hamper for time alone with my man; enjoying some wine, 🍷 deep and meaningful chats and wandering aimlessly around the streets 👫 exploring. As a model its worked for us for about 36 years. Now some of you maybe shouting GET a ROOM or more likely wondering how the heck we’ve survived this long with that approach? Thankfully we did take marriage vows 💑 because “in sickness and in health” was about to become the single most important commitment in our history. Romance on this trip, sadly, would not have a look in.

So until our departure I rested looking at the ceiling. Rest you see felt necessary but really we had no idea that anything serious was afoot. We couldn’t cancel ⛔️ our hotel or the train (note to self make sure you take the cancellation offer next time Doh!). So bravely I took the decision to go, it was only for three days after all and I had crutches.✅ This behaviour is so like me, just grit your teeth and get on with it……..

On Monday we took a taxi to the station but the train to Edinburgh was cancelled. This was a sign surely ! (you canny make this up) Nope! instead of giving up we took a taxi 🚕 to make the 1030am train otherwise the ticket was invalid. There I was rocking back and forth trying to finesse my swing action on these blooming crutches across Waverley to try to catch our train. The pain caused just by sitting in the taxi was already a sign this was a mistake but it was something else that determined that something was wrong.🤦‍♀️

We booked first class but our ‘lucky white heather’ 🌾 run wasn’t over quite yet. The cookers were broken so they only had prawn cocktail sandwiches on offer 🍤 I cannot eat wet fish on bread. So I starved. Although I must admit the co-codamol I was taking for the pain had already killed my appetite. At least the seating arrangements brought me some comfort. 💺

Our good luck continued… we were late into York and missed our Harrogate connection. 😧After an hour or so waiting we were finally transported to our final destination the Ascot Hotel.🏣 This is a lovely, small, family run hotel on the edge of the town, so under normal circumstances would have been well placed for our trip. Harrogate is also a small town, you can navigate it all quite easily, but not on crutches which, incidentally I didn’t add to my trip advisor reviews.🏆

On our first night we stopped at a hostelry and ordered a soft drink. I couldn’t face alcohol but to be sociable I later agreed to a wine. This should have been a big sign to me something was very wrong, because I couldn’t drink the wine. For those who know me, I will repeat this I could not drink the wine. 🍷🍷🍷

That was the moment I realised something was very wrong!!

person holding a wine glasses — Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Strike #1 Chapter 2

I don’t do public shows of distress (PSD). So when I fell in spectacular fashion on St Andrews Square in Edinburgh, I was mortified when passers🚶‍♂️ by rushed to my aid because, as I said before, I was howling 😭. I had only one thing on my mind; I wanted to get to Bon Vivant and have my lunch🥗 🍷!

My body (not to mention my hair and make-up), however had other ideas. No sooner had I clambered back to my feet 👏 when I passed out 🌀 and was flat on my back again. This led to a growing number of spectators 👀 to summon an ambulance🚑. Not me, I was against this from the start and quickly requested they cancel it. After all it was just a fall……..wasn’t it? 🌚

And in any case our bodies are pretty amazing. Firstly, despite the pain, my brain 🧠 status automatically slipped to organise. I was issuing instructions, handing my phone 📱 over to “ let the restaurant know we are not coming” and “ let my husband know?”. I noticed the latter caused quite a stir 🙀in the crowd; was this man with me not my husband?? I could see they were looking at each other trying to figure it out. (Although why I was even aware of these subtleties I have no idea!)

Secondly, however it was the physical reaction 🤢that led me to take the sensible decision and go to hospital. Shock was screaming at me very loudly through waves of nausea, violent shaking and spinning horizons. ( Not due to alcohol consumption, honestly 🍹). Not wanting to avail the Scottish Ambulance Service of their time for some silly 🤡 middle aged woman wearing the wrong footwear, the staff at Dishoom kindly summoned a taxi 🚕to take my colleague and I to the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh. (Bet they thought he was my husband too 🤫).

Despite my best contortions and effort to describe this accident🙇‍♀️ and pain, and an x-ray suggesting nothing was broken, (although I felt I already knew that) the staff could not identify what ailed me. My left hamstring was on fire 🔥, I had excruciating pain when seated,💺 there was an agonising pain in both my pubic bone and the exterior of the left thigh between the hip and the knee. I was agitated because of the pain 🤦‍♀️and it was about 4 hours before they were able to get it under control. Only then could I allow them to touch my leg.

After much deliberation the Doctors advised me I was a bit of a conundrum (nice😷), they thought I’d likely have some bruising from this bad fall. They agreed I could go home if I was able to use the crutches on offer.

So I did; I went home, not the least bit clear on what was wrong. I did have information that the trauma team would be in touch over the next few days but had no real advice on what to do.

three person looking at x ray result — Photo by EVG photos on Pexels.com

All fine, yep, but what about our trip to Harrogate on Monday????

And it was those block heel boots! Chapter 1

I am fed up lying here looking at the ceiling. I’m not thinking of England or anything like that, (no such luck) no, indeed it’s unusual I’m lying down at all. At my age I really should have known better, so what brought me to this incapacitation anyway? Well a stage three hamstring tear did … and you’re right its “aaagggggonnnnny” 🤢.

Don’t panic I’m not an athlete 🏃‍♀️ it’s not caused career limiting devastation but, all the same, it’s restricting. Surprisingly ‘Google’ had little in the way of informing me about this condition so “life’s little dramas” has been driven by the absence of material on line and has resulted in my very first blog. Back to the details..

Have you ever been so looking forward to something? I was that day. I was meeting a former colleague to hatch work plans. He’d just finished working on a programme for the BBC so my inner actress had been ignited and I had arranged lunch with wine ( of course) to contemplate our next collaboration.

I pulled out last years winter boots, 👢the ones with a bit of a block heel ( they still looked good ok 😙 don’t judge, but they are important in the story). I felt they would give me height, elongating my less than lean silhouette and conceal the inevitable menopausal midriff , making me look at least 20 years younger ( it was for TV after all).

By some unintentional alignment of the stars I even managed to have scheduled my nail appointment before my meeting, to ensure the appropriate level of sophistication and colour would gracefully enhance my glass holding action. As everyone knows essential details for every budding actress 💅🏼. The girls at Fabulous do such a fantastic job on nails and the atmosphere is so Steel Magnolias. Why not visit them? I digress….

Iphones are irreplaceable for the modern menopausal woman, especially the weather app to advise me on what clothing is suitable? This naturally then leads to the right choice of handbag 1) Is it the right colour for the coat/boots? and 2) Can my brolly hide gracefully among the unchecked detritus that lurks within? I can confirm all the right choices were made as the drama that day was to prove………

I answered emails, made appointments, surveyed Facebook, skimmed Twitter and generally managed my life through my iPhone like the rest of the world does on the train. It’s only 20 minutes 🚆 so my screen time was limited in case you’ve become concerned that the iphone is featuring a little too much in this story. I am by definition a silver surfer but do my best to maintain a mainstream interest in all things Apple.

I arranged en route to meet my colleague in Waverley prior to our lunch at Bon Vivant where I was looking forward to nice food, wine and a catch up. If you haven’t been it is a lovely restaurant with great ambience and fine wines. Give it a whirl … we couldn’t that day…..

It was pissing with rain in Edinburgh🌧, and I was slightly smug at my preparations when I noted my colleague was missing his galoishes and sou’wester. He was however very smart in his matching tweed jacket and waistcoat. Fleetingly I wondered whether bald men were irritated by the rain, I can’t tell you what it does to my hair, hence the hood and the brolly!🌂

After a swift cocktail🍹, with no real alcohol content of any note, we ventured out into Princes Street and the torrential rain. My colleague was less than eager to venture out so I thrust my slightly despoked brolly up, which the grandchildren had used to catch balls in the summer. I wrapped a congenial arm through my colleagues and off we trotted in good spirits despite the torrential rain toward our restaurant. We gibbered and glided with best foot forward into the recently refurbished St Andrew’s Square.

At this point I want to point out he was just a colleague; yes we have enjoyed a few glasses of wine and lunch once or twice. We had worked together in our respective roles but in all honesty he was still just a colleague and had never really seen me vulnerable. You do know what I mean by that? VULNERABLE? It’s not really a condition I like to publically display to colleagues or for that matter strangers. 😲

But within minutes of entering the water laden St Andrew’s Square, my rubber block heel (remember those) left boot aqua-planed quite gracefully but unexpectedly across the recently laid marble styled paving. With my arm entangled tightly around my colleague to share the brolly, the resulting action from the sudden slip was to start to impersonate Bambi on ice. Down I went squealing with pain and twirling in a pool of incessant rain. Legs akimbo, fear etched on my eyes, writhing in agony, feeling trepidation, suppressing anxiety, recoiling in distress but most of all ‘greeting like a big wean…….’ what the hell just happened?