Strike #2 chapter 5

It’s never straightforward getting from A-B is it? The train ran  so late  we missed our lift. My husband organised a taxi to take me to the doctor then drive him to collect our grandkids👫.  The train had made us both late and stress 🤹‍♂️ levels were extremely high. The rabid dog 🐕 stuck  with me as we parted company for our respective appointments.

Naturally  the dog didn’t make it into my consultation but I was in some distress😢  by then and my  leg was swollen so badly I thought my jeans 👖 would need to be cut off.  The GP took one look at me and advised a second visit to A&E  🏩 for further investigation was necessary.

My poor husband was trying to make the kids their tea 🍱  when I summoned him back to my GP to transport me to A&E. He dispatched me rushing back to make sure the oven hadn’t incinerated the chicken nuggets.🔥

A&E was busy; I was informed at check in there would be a three hour wait. 3️⃣ OMG three hours…😩.  I grabbed a seat closest to the exit, but sitting down was just impossible. My containment of the rabid dog now manifested into  tears  😭 the pain, gnawing so much now, was unbearable, I was close to hysteria😜 .

Around me mayhem 👀 ensued, its hard to accept that everyone there was actually an emergency although I’m mindful of assumptions. Everyone appeared to contain their distress more than me, even kids. Some lovesick  👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨teenagers,  supported by their friends did well to conceal any obvious signs of ailment. 🤒  A number of kids in football ⚽️  attire  with blood stained 🤕 faces,  suggested  theirs hadn’t been  the friendliest  match, and numerous older people 👵🏼watched  every newcomer with nervous anticipation 🙀 that they might lose their turn.

After an hour I was called for triage where I was offered some pain relief 💊💊. With only a chair to sit in I was in major  discomfort. Once through the first tier, 🚑🚑🚑 3  ambulances arrived with more patients and I  was in this line waiting to move closer to a doctor.  Chaos didn’t seem to cover it.

Then it was my turn and we met Ben. 🧛🏻‍♂️ Ben is well versed in the habits of  hysterical women.  He has nice 🐝  manners. He has honed his bedside manner 🛏 to relax you.  He tried to establish what we really wanted as he noticed we had been at A&E  last week!  Isn’t it  tedious 🗂 these people who keep coming back?  “What do you need to happen?”  He was  acutely patronising 👺  and despite my GP referral it was evident he thought we were time wasting. “I need further investigation”  I sobbed 😪 “I need to be admitted to get the pain sorted”  But any idiot  🤪 could read the signs that was never going to happen.  Ben thought it appropriate to examine my leg  but he was perplexed.  As with his peers last week he didn’t know what was wrong. “I think you should go home and I’ll try to get a scan for next week”  he said washing his hands. “She needs pain relief”  said my husband, “ its 15p at Asda” he replied 🤫 smiling and  extending his  hand as he dismissed me. “ It was so  nice to see you in A&E.” It’s not a blinking holiday Ben!!!!!!

“I don’t think they believe me I wept” as I stuttered toward the car……………………..

 

man wearing gray collared top
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Rabid dogs and Frankenstein Chapter 4

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So one day into our Harrogate trip and it was evident it had been a big mistake ⚡️ coming here with my leg in such pain.  Although getting into  town was fairly easy,  I was walking like  Frankenstein 🧟‍♂️ and it was not a good look – I had to get rid of the crutches.

Shopping  🛍 and eating🍱  out are among my guilty pleasures in life, so sair leg or not  I wasn’t prepared to forgoe either,  and  the crutches weren’t going to hinder me so I ditched them. However by 2pm my leg was throbbing so the promise of  fine dining was deserted for a reduced price Tesco Egg 🥚 sandwich. This decision of course gained maximum kudos from my husband as it   saved him  money💷.    By some miracle I stumbled and hobbled my way back to the hotel clinging to lampposts and moaning incoherently like a jakey despite the lack or pleasure of any wine🍷!   I immediately launched myself into the bath when we returned and  I  noticed extensive  purple bruising had started to appear on my leg😈.

By Wednesday I couldn’t sit  at all so tried to book a train home a day early.  Although possible it was costly 🤑.  Pondering this  in light of the egg sandwich decision, I  considered we could wait one more day since we already had first class tickets 🚞and all the comforts and extras  those promised.  In a strange twist of fate the  hotel owner noticed I was in agony and shared that she had slipped in the kitchen a few years ago and ripped her hamstring in two.  She’d spent 6 days in hospital and it took 9 months to heal. How bloody awful I declared, ha little did I know!🤪

On Thursday we set off home,  and I made a Doctors appointment en route because the pain 💊💊 was now as bad as it had been when I fell. We boarded the on-time ⏰  first train to York  but our luck  🍀 didn’t last. Because of Storm Ali the previous days trains  had been cancelled and now our train was over 2 hours late,  burgeoned with extra  passengers  and  devoid of  any seats and refreshments.  🙀

By now I was I was barking and snarling like a rabid dog  👹 trying to contain the pain.  All the money I had saved did little to endear me in this state to my husband who was wishing this particular trip to Harrogate had never happened. He was unable to provide any meaningful assistance and his best efforts failed to return me to the even tempered puppy 🐶 he started out with.

When the train arrived every seat, suitcase and  corridor floor space in first class was occupied. Despite hobbling among the crowds trying to look needy to the very important businessmen they  avoided my gaze 👩‍💻, perhaps my best Frankenstein impression scared them off.  The offer of a seat was eventually  provided by an elderly lady 😇 who availed me of my misery as we hurtled toward Edinburgh and home and I took it 🤭 (forgive me).  I just  hoped our train would get in on time.

My husband loves travelling by train but he had no seat until Newcastle and we were delayed a further hour on route.  We had nothing to eat or drink until we arrived in Berwick and suddenly the loaves and five fishes 🐟  appeared in the guise of bacon 🐖 sandwiches for those of us brave enough to be travelling on to Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿. Not long now until I saw the doctor and all my problems would be resolved. I was salivating 🤤  like Pavlov’s dog at the thought of that ….

 

 

 

Harrogate, really? Chapter 3

Have you ever been to Harrogate? It’s a beautiful market town near York🌇. I’ve been loads and love the shopping and eateries there.   My husband has never been, so as a treat I booked us a trip there 😳. Except it was for the Monday after the fall and this was now a dilemma because I was in a lot of pain and had  to get around on crutches.  What ever we did  it was not going to be the romantic ❤️ few days we had planned.

Romance?  I know I’m no spring chicken 🐓 but I do still hamper for time alone with my man; enjoying some wine, 🍷 deep and meaningful chats and wandering aimlessly around the streets 👫 exploring. As a model its worked for us for about 36 years.  Now some of you maybe shouting GET a ROOM or more likely wondering how the heck we’ve survived this long with that approach?  Thankfully we did take marriage vows 💑 because  “in sickness and in health” was about to become the single most important commitment in our history.  Romance on this trip, sadly, would  not have a look in.

So until our departure I rested looking at the ceiling.  Rest you see felt  necessary but really we had no idea that anything serious was afoot.  We couldn’t cancel ⛔️ our hotel or the train (note to self make sure you take the cancellation offer next time Doh!). So bravely I took the decision to go, it was only for three days after all and I had crutches.✅  This behaviour  is so like me, just grit your teeth and get on with it……..

On Monday we took a taxi to the station but the train to Edinburgh was cancelled. This was a sign surely ! (you canny make this up) Nope! instead of giving up we took a taxi 🚕 to make the 1030am train otherwise the ticket was invalid. There I was rocking back and forth trying to finesse  my swing action on these blooming crutches across Waverley to try to catch our train. The pain caused just by sitting in the taxi was already a sign this was a mistake but it was something else that determined that something was wrong.🤦‍♀️

We booked first class but our ‘lucky white heather’ 🌾  run wasn’t over quite yet. The cookers  were broken so they only had prawn cocktail sandwiches on offer 🍤 I cannot eat wet fish on bread. So I starved.  Although I must admit the  co-codamol  I was taking for the pain had  already killed my appetite. At least the seating arrangements brought me some comfort. 💺

Our good luck continued… we were late into York and missed our Harrogate connection. 😧After an hour or so waiting we were finally transported to our  final destination the Ascot Hotel.🏣  This is a lovely, small,  family run hotel on the edge of the town, so under normal circumstances would have been  well placed for our trip.  Harrogate is also a small town, you can navigate it all quite easily, but not on crutches which, incidentally  I didn’t add to my trip advisor reviews.🏆

On our first night we stopped at a hostelry and ordered a soft drink. I couldn’t face alcohol but to be sociable I later agreed to a wine. This should have been a big sign to me something was very wrong, because I couldn’t drink the wine. For those who know me, I will repeat this I could not drink the wine.  🍷🍷🍷

That was the moment I realised  something was very wrong!!

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Strike #1 Chapter 2

I don’t do public shows of distress (PSD). So when I  fell in spectacular fashion on St Andrews Square in Edinburgh, I was mortified when passers🚶‍♂️ by  rushed to my aid because, as I said before, I was howling 😭.  I had only one thing on my mind; I wanted to get to Bon Vivant and have my lunch🥗 🍷!

My body (not to mention my hair and make-up), however  had other ideas.  No sooner had I clambered back to my feet 👏 when I passed out 🌀 and was flat on my back again. This led to a growing number of spectators 👀 to summon an ambulance🚑.  Not me, I was against this from the start  and  quickly requested they cancel it. After all it was just a fall……..wasn’t it?  🌚

And in any case our bodies are pretty amazing.  Firstly,  despite the pain, my brain 🧠 status  automatically slipped to organise.  I was issuing instructions, handing my phone 📱 over to “ let the restaurant know we are not coming” and   “ let my husband know?”.  I noticed the latter caused quite a stir 🙀in the crowd; was this man with me not my husband?? I could see they were looking at each other trying to figure it out. (Although why I was even aware of these subtleties I have no idea!)

Secondly, however  it was the physical reaction 🤢that led me to take the sensible decision and go to hospital. Shock was screaming  at me very loudly through waves of nausea, violent shaking and spinning horizons.  ( Not due to alcohol consumption, honestly 🍹).  Not wanting to avail the Scottish Ambulance Service of their time for some silly 🤡 middle aged woman wearing the wrong footwear, the staff at Dishoom kindly  summoned a taxi 🚕to take my colleague and I to the Royal Infirmary in Edinburgh. (Bet they thought he was my husband too 🤫).

Despite my best contortions and effort to describe this accident🙇‍♀️ and pain, and an x-ray suggesting nothing was broken,  (although I felt I already knew that) the staff could not identify what ailed me. My left hamstring was on fire 🔥, I had excruciating pain when seated,💺 there was an agonising pain in both my pubic bone and the exterior of the left thigh between the hip and the knee. I was agitated because of the pain 🤦‍♀️and it was about 4 hours before they were able to get it under control. Only then could I allow them to touch my  leg.

After much deliberation the Doctors advised me I was a bit of a conundrum (nice😷),  they thought I’d likely have some bruising from this bad fall.  They agreed I could go home if I was able to use the crutches on offer.

So I did; I went home, not the least bit clear on what was wrong. I did have information that the trauma team would be in touch over the next few days but had no real advice on what to do.

three person looking at x ray result
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All fine, yep,   but what about our trip to Harrogate on Monday????